Happy 420 guys !
Ugh fat, need to lose weight.
I never intend to make any of what I write to be sad or just a bunch of ramble of sad thoughts or struggles it just kinda happens.
I’m pretty sure its not just me that thinks that also the best writings come from those kinds of emotions. I mean they can come from being happy and stuff, I suppose. I should write happier times but its the confusing weird ones that keep me up. I was never really good with talking about things anyway.
I know its been a long time since I’ve written anything but my thoughts need to get out of my head.
The thoughts just pile up. Whispering it’s been too long. Too long.
I need a love like Effy and Freddie, like Pam and Jim.
Not perfect, but one that you know you can’t go on without the other person. That mutual need and want for each other.
I think yesterday must of been the worst day and then maybe, just maybe an alright day in the end.
Sometimes I’d like to think that people don’t have an affect on me, but maybe they do.
But that day has passed and a new has begun. Hopefully this one is good to me. I need a day that is just good to me, for once in the longest time. I just need one day.
All I do is fuck shit up. All I do is hurt people. I’m a such an asshole. I need to die like now.
Every passing day I feel lonelier and lonelier, and emptier and emptier.
I hide feelings.
I guess I should have realised that I messed up far in the beginning and I should of been clean about my feelings instead of hiding them away.
Probably why the pay back is so hurtful.
The sheer delight of a man with a slow deliberate tongue
Can i just have this ?